All about consequences in this episode:

1. Why they are important
2. When they mean nothing
3. Positive consequences vs gift/reward/bribe
4. Natural consequences

Your homework assignment - Plan out your consequence structure and discuss with everyone that needs to be a part of it.

More detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode28

SUPPORT the Polyvagal Podcast and get access to exclusive BONUS EPISODES - http://www.justinlmft.com/members

CONTACT either of us - http://www.justinlmft.com/contact

Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeat

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Deb Dana - one third of my Polyvagal Trinity.  Deb Dana is called "the Pied Piper of the Polyvagal Theory," and honestly someone I want to be like when I grow up.  She does the stuff I do, but better and first.  I gotta be honest.  We talk in depth about:

1. "Story follows State"
2. Climbing the Polyvagal Ladder
3. Diagnosing

DEB DANA - http://www.debdanalcsw.com/

(these next two links will take you to Amazon, where I get a portion of the sale as an Amazon Affiliate.)

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy - https://amzn.to/3409v8z

Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory - https://amzn.to/322IZK3

Intro/Outro music by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

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You're not you're diagnosis.  It's a label - a shorthand system for professionals to use - to collect "symptoms" that typically occur together.  It makes communication among therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists easier.  And that's the point of diagnoses.  And insurance building.

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We go in depth into each of these four ways to express love.  It's not enough to just love your kiddos, you also need to express it.  And express it in ways they will be able to get.

1. Say it out loud

2. Write it down

3. Physical affection

4. Play

DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27

JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum

CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact

Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

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We answer two questions from our amazing Listeners.  We originally answered these on our weekly Instagram Live segment, which you can be a part of every Sunday at 915pm PST.

Consider supporting the podcast - $5/mo will give you access to the Bonus section and the exclusive episodes inside.  This section is updated every 1-2 weeks!

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Lots of co-regulation ground covered in this episode:

1. Kids neurocepting danger cues
2. your state vs your empathy
3. your empathy vs your compassion
4. face to face interaction
5. self-regulation (for you, parent)

DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode26

JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum

SUPPORT the podcast at - http://www.justinlmft.com/support

Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

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We answer two more questions from our Dear Listeners about parenting - 

1. "How can parents avoid creating a trauma with their kids?"

2."How do you approach a parent who is stuck?"

Support the podcast here - justinlmft.com/support

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Self-regulation is built upon co-regulation.  Kids aren't born able to self-regulate, but they are born ready to receive a parent's co-regulation.

DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode25

JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum

CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact

Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message

We answer two questions submitted by two of our amazing listeners:

1. How to best overcome a parental state shift?

2. Do toddlers experience defensive states more often than adults?

Join us on Sunday nights on Instagram Live!  We go live around 915pm PST.

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Two big ideas discussed in this episode: 1. Strengthening the vagal brake as a fundamental purpose of parenting and why. 2. You don't control your kids.  And you can't.  And neither do we.  No one does. DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode24 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message