UNDERSTANDABLE

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► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:17 In Relationships You’re Confused About Your Feelings

02:30 In Relationships You’re Unclear About Your Needs

06:21 Where Does The Inner Conflict Come From?

10:27 Was Your Childhood Like This?

14:53 Why Relationship Needs Still Are A Mystery For You As An Adult

18:09 How To Know What You Feel And Need In Your Relationship?

22:15 What You Need To Feel Good And Free When You’re A Single Person

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass:

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Links & Resources:

Using Fantasies to Regulate Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozIbtcDmNVA

Dissociation Video:

https://youtu.be/UZsTUS_jlYg?si=D0MvB_gDQaLCPPgM

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Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:18 Thing 1: Before A Relationship: They Dream Of “The Perfect Partner”. But Don’t Actually Want To Meet Them.

05:02 Thing 2: In The Dating Phase: They Focus on Weaknesses, But Want To See The Strengths

08:20 Thing 3: In The Beginning Of The Relationship: They Judge Other People, But Actually Want Harmony

12:09 Thing 4: During The Relationship: They Overplay “Weak” Emotions, But Only Bond Through “Positive” Ones

14:59 Thing 5: During The Relationship: They Appear Inattentive or “Off”, But Actually Just Want Safety

19:15 Thing 6: In The End of The Relationship: Not Selfish, But Want Connection

21:59 Thing 7: After The Breakup: They Feel Incredibly Deliberated, But Soon After Miss Their Ex

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass:

⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

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YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:11 Top Level Experience

02:50 Inside Relationship Experience

08:34 You’re Not Broken Or Wrong

10:44 You’re Not With The Wrong Partner

12:05 What Is The Real Reason For Your Panic?

12:20 What Happens In The Moment Of The Switch?

13:48 Tension Curve Of Your Nervous System

19:54 Why Is Your Nervous System Reacting Like This?

22:34 Will I Ever Be Able To Have A Secure Relationship Without Panic?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass:

⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ (Ad)

► Access My Premium Course:

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Links & Resources:

10 Signs of Complex PTSD:

https://youtu.be/rc4NqZQV5hA?si=wSuXmBqKgsOCukBi

Reddit Stonewalling: https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/1hw6a4a/a_cool_guide_on_stonewalling_and_how_to_deal_with/

Dissociation:

https://growththruchange.com/blog/why-dissociation-happens-and-steps-toward-healing/

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YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:05 Weakness Zoom (Deactivating Strategies)

06:18 Isolation/Avoidance

11:22 People Pleasing

15:40 Anger/Rage

19:08 Stonewalling

22:26 Emotional Numbing

27:28 Withholding Affirmations

29:30 Romanticizing The Past

31:54 Hyper-Independence

34:40 Privacy As A Shield

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass:

⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠ (Ad)

► Access My Premium Course:

⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ (Ad)

Links & Resources:

Why You’re So Sensitive To Criticism: https://youtu.be/e8FKISPF__0?si=FP2qWIwIUzUp79CQ

Trauma Bond:

https://youtu.be/J70RwIER2BQ?si=5JMBZGVwgKUW1gY-

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YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:11 What Is Fear of Commitment Again?

04:24 Sign 1: You Have Unrealistic, Not High Just Standards

08:31 Sign 2: You Focus On Their Flaws, Instead Of Their Good Sides

12:01 Sign 3: Doubts And Insecurities Appear, When Everything Goes Well

16:44 Sign 4: There Is Conflict, But Not “War”

19:45 Sign 5: You Sabotage The Relationship, But Not Because Of Incompatibility

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass:

https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)

► Access My Premium Course:

https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)

Here are 5 Habits To Stop Letting Other People's Mood Control You. No Fluff, just practical habits that strengthen your boundaries.

Why The Smallest Criticism Breaks You Episode: https://youtu.be/e8FKISPF__0?si=rLYl-PuiMEVV4K_u

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠

https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music:

⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:56 Why Other People’s Mood Control You

10:36 Habit 1: Pause Before You React

13:50 Habit 2: Walk With a Better Posture

17:07 Habit 3: Having a Routine

20:16 Habit 4: Do More, of What You Need

24:10 Habit 5: Reconnect With Your Own State

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Links and Resources:

Why You Don’t Feel Seen Video: ⁠https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=BWVNopJCfPlRKFuI⁠

Resolve Conflict With Compassion Video: ⁠https://youtu.be/xDgdKnCC1HM?si=-33iPJdOqOsvRgax ⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro - How To Stop Sabotaging Healthy Love And Relationships

00:03 Step 1: Be Aware That You’re Sabotaging

02:37 Step 2: Understand The Pattern And It’s Purpose

05:25 Step 3: Catch Yourself When The Pattern Is Triggered

07:21 Step 4: Pause: Stop Reacting

08:36 Step 5: Ground Yourself (Create Safety)

11:14 Step 6: Communicate Honestly And Openly (Practise Vulnerability)

14:06 Step 7: Address, What You Actually Need Or Want

16:21 Step 8: Practice Self-care & Compassion For Yourself

18:17 Step 9: Build Self-Worth

20:06 Step 10: Replace Relationship Sabotage With Self-Leadership

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Links and Resources:

Why You Don’t Feel Seen Video: https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=BWVNopJCfPlRKFuI

Resolve Conflict With Compassion Video: https://youtu.be/xDgdKnCC1HM?si=-33iPJdOqOsvRgax

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Why We Sabotage Great Relationships?

02:56 What Is Triggering The Pattern?

05:42 Why Relationships Feel Like a Loss of Control?

11:58 Why Is It So Hard To Stop Sabotaging Love?

15:49 Is There a Better Way Instead of Sabotaging Love?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

In the past decade, I ended 5 long term relationships because of my commitment issues.

When I met my current partner, I decided to break this pattern.

In this video, I share everything I’ve learned on my journey of getting over avoidant attachment.

I’ll take you through the 7 stages every avoidant goes through and give you some new perspectives to ponder on.

If you follow along through all the steps, I’m nearly 100% sure you will leave this video with a huge aha and a ton of practical ideas how to start healing your avoidant attachment patterns.

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Links and Resources:

Limerence and Romantic Fantasies:

https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=_eJeTGlwFcBBCBaL

You’re Not Your Emotions:

https://youtu.be/67QybhTEUMM?si=NLaxhT9KjecfupoC

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:51 What Avoidant Attachment Feels Like

03:59 How Secure Attachment Feels Like

07:45 Stage 1: Avoidant Beliefs and Values

12:37 Stage 2: Deep Desire for Conflict Free Love

15:26 Stage 3: Dating and Limerence

21:39 Stage 4: The Shift

25:58 Stage 5: Pulling Back

32:06 Stage 6: The Breakup

39:39 Stage 7: Recover and Reset

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

Why do you always push away the people you love?

Especially when things get close and serious?

If you clicked on this video, there are probably two possibilities why you’re here:

1) You are currently dating someone or are in a relationship that asks for more commitment, and you started to push the other person that you really like away.

2) You know someone, maybe your friend, brother, sister, or the person you’re dating, who is suddenly turning cold and pulling away.

Either way, it’s very honest and brave of you, that you care and want to figure out, why the reactions happen.

You don’t just judge yourself or the other person, and want to look for support and real answers.

The reason why you or the person you love pushed someone away is in both scenarios definitely the same.

And in this episode, we first of all answer the question, what’s the main reason for this.

But more importantly, afterwards we’ll also explore if there is an actual solution for this

And if so, how you can practically stop to push away the people you love to finally be in a stable, secure relationship.

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:22 #1 Reason You Push Away The People You Love

07:17 You’re Not Broken

10:16 How Can You Stop Pushing Away the People You Love?

11:16 Step 1: Strengthen Your Sense Of Self

16:20 Step 2: Practice to Sense and Express Your Emotions, Needs, and Boundaries

21:30 Step 3: Learn to Stay In Relationships Without Losing Yourself

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.