UNDERSTANDABLE

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)Do you fall in love often and then build a bright future fantasy with people you usually barely know, become super needy and clingy right in the beginning?Then chances are high, that this bright fantasy that you build also comforts and excites you.But did you know that what you’re experiencing here is actually not love?Did you know that people with childhood trauma regularly use romantic obsession as a tool to self-regulate and cope with their pain from the past?Well then today, I have 6 eye-opening signs, that you may be using limerence and the fantasy with another person as a way to re-regulate yourself.How this can work and what you can do about it, we’ll find out in today’s video.► Links and Resources:10 Common Symptoms of Childhood Trauma Episode: https://youtu.be/5VwTxkjO5Ak?si=0IrKBw3gcDDryTSuFear of Commitment Episode: https://youtu.be/Xf1iuvoO0lM?si=geY5sdZACPGmWVEZLimerence Episode: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:44 What Is Limerence?04:32 Limerence & Neediness07:39 Sign 1: You Feel Anxiety And Panic, That In Reality, The Other Person (Limerent Object) Is Different From Your Fantasy12:40 Sign 2: Your Intensity Of Limerence Varies, Depending On Your Phase In Life14:26 Sign 3: Your Sense Of Self Worth & Purpose Revolves Around The Limerent Object17:17 Sign 4: You Feel Anxiety Or Panic, When The Limerent Object Is Out Of Reach19:19 Sign 5: You Prefer Spending Time Thinking About The Limerent Person, Than Actually Spending Time With Them20:44 Sign 6: Your Romantic Obsession On Another Person Is A Substitute For True Connection And Intimacy21:40 Solutions24:53 Final Thoughts► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: [email protected]► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

"Limerence is like being a lost puppy, begging any stranger to love you enough to undo the past's lack of connection."

I found this comment on YouTube and nearly 6000 people can’t be wrong.

Limerence doesn’t mean love. It means non-stop obsessing about someone you often barely know.

And this - is not healthy. It’s rooted in early trauma and insecure attachment pattern s.

This link between childhood trauma, attachment wounds and romantic obsession is so valuable to understand and this is why we will uncover it in this video.

Furthermore, I will also show you how you can distinguish between limerence and real connecting feelings and I share an approach with you, what you can do to resolve & stop obsessive infatuation once you’re in such a situation.

► Links and Resources:

Cycle of Toxic Shame Episode: https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=V5qLjXHy-XBi5hCq

Codependency Episode: https://youtu.be/OSeR88YWwhU?si=tmybOcvMqeXBrPwr

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:01 Understanding Limerence

04:12 Signs Of Limerence

06:03 Limerence And Attachment

13:33 Limerence And Childhood Trauma

23:37 Limerence Or True Connecting Feeling?

23:51 Distinction 1: Limerence Appears In Your Head, Connection & Sexual Desire Appear In Your Body

25:10 Distinction 2: It’s Limerence When You Fantasize About Someone When You Are Alone, Instead Of Spending Real Time With Them

25:59 Distinction 3: Limerence Disappears As Quickly As It Came

27:39 Distinction 4: Limerence Is More Intense Than A Crush And Has An Obsessive Character

29:04 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

When was the last time you were furious with your partner, a good friend, or a parent?

I mean, so mad and full of resentment, that you were raging, wanting to smash things and scream?

3 days ago? Last week? Or are you right now?

Well, this is actually not normal anger.

It’s probably emotional dysregulation caused by a childhood full of trauma.

Today, you will understand why and how constant anger and resentment are linked to PTSD

And in the end, I talk about how to resolve resentment and anger.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Emotional Dysregulation Episode: https://youtu.be/S53LMUfE10Q?si=2m2Ckj67pevF4JEf

People Pleasing Episode: https://youtu.be/ZhExIeU3Bys

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:07 What Is Constant Anger/Resentment/Yelling/Drama

05:49 Where Does Constant Anger/Resentment/Yelling/Drama Come From

09:04 Understanding Constant Anger/Resentment/Yelling/Drama Runs Your Relationships

09:18 The Adaptive Pathway

10:57 The Avoiding/Repressed Pathway

16:06 How To Resolve Constant Anger/Resentment/Yelling/Drama

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Why do we people please?

► Links and Resources:

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6  Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ 

► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people. 

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) 

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

How does toxic shame feel like?

- It’s when you are around people, and you feel a strong resistance when trying to be yourself.

- It’s when you deep inside don’t feel good enough.

- It’s when you can’t look yourself in the eye in the mirror.

- It’s when you feel disgusted by yourself, feel not lovable, wrong and just want to disappear.

Toxic shame is a heavy topic and I warn you, this video can be very overwhelming for some of you.

But, at the same time, shame in complex trauma is also very poorly understood.

This is why today I’d like to reveal how it feels like, where it comes from, how it influences every aspect of your life and ideas, how to manage toxic shame.

► Links and Resources:

Cycle of toxic shame Episode: https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=CSp0qZ585hLo8EpE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:29 How Does Toxic Shame Feel Like?

05:03 What Is Toxic Shame?

06:01 Where Does Toxic Shame Come From?

07:50 Cycle Of Toxic Shame

12:32 How To Heal From Toxic Shame

13:05 Step 1: Create Awareness

13:40 Step 2: Create A Safe Environment

18:03 Step 3: Create Self-Acceptance

20:39 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Do you sometimes feel like an alien?

Like the whole world overwhelms you? And do other people always tell you: “You’re too sensitive?”

Well, then you might be a highly sensitive person, who perceives stimuli more intensely.

But strangely, though, that's not enough. On top of that, somehow we as highly sensitive people magically attracted a traumatic childhood.

We seem to struggle more and recover less from past wounds.

Why that is the case and what you can do about it, you will see in this video.

► Links and Resources:

The Highly Sensitive Person Book *Ad: https://amzn.to/3Bp7SXN

Genogram: https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/genogram

Therapy for Highly Sensitive People Podcast: https://youtu.be/7sh2uHxWbKk?si=GdXAmKtQKLpEhK-D

HSP vs. Autism: https://youtu.be/sib1ok3a6-w?si=vIMdu8WGg6Q8Gn8O

Highly Sensitive Children Podcast: https://youtu.be/tqodXCQU2PE?si=8yEf-0jtk2LGyMc2

When To End a Relationship: https://youtu.be/Th6BaWiUkm8?si=fp9kauti5udXOs2l

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:04 What Are Highly Sensitive People?

06:24 Why Sensitivity Attracts Trauma

06:39 Reason 1: The Highly Sensitive Person Is The Alien

11:04 Reason 2: The Highly Sensitive Person Has The Highest Emotional Capacity

13:18 Reason 3: The Highly Sensitive Person Often Is The Scapegoat

16:20 Reason 4: The Highly Sensitive Person Attracts The Narcissist Like A Magnet

19:15 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Do you know this one truth about complex childhood trauma?

“What happened - was not your fault.”

We all know this rationally, but we don’t feel this emotionally.

Instead, we have all these weird symptoms that make us dysfunction in our daily lives.

Often we can’t even explain them and feel at the mercy of our own body. This feels absolutely frustrating.

In order to resolve these symptoms, you have to understand them first.

This is what we do today: We go through 10 common symptoms of complex trauma from childhood.

I will explain each of them and then give you relatable examples.

And in the end, I will also offer you solutions to the symptoms.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Dissociation Episode: https://youtu.be/UZsTUS_jlYg?si=PQseKTWKdXzoeEBS

Fear of Commitment Episode: https://youtu.be/Xf1iuvoO0lM?si=IiPdyWWpf_0DvsP1

When To End a Relationship Episode: https://youtu.be/Th6BaWiUkm8?si=vhLjtp8d8Wpn_DDW

Why We Isolate Episode: https://youtu.be/y9uRcNJcOuc?si=kQ8HwiCtTz_4xa_9

ADHD Episode: https://youtu.be/N1UM0y77Jw4?si=hlm-BNQdIH3ilxJd

Toxic Shame Episode: https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=jH7yVgqSKPIzNuKo

Re-Regulation Resources Episode: https://youtu.be/i05BWtgjYRw?si=wI26vDo6U9U2E6b2

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:10 Symptom 1: Are You Chronically On High Alert (Around Other People)?

03:13 Symptom 2: Do You Often Disconnect From The World Around You?

05:33 Symptom 3: Do You Struggle With Regulating Intense Emotions?

08:16 Symptom 4: Do You Have Medically Unexplainable Body-Symptoms?

11:28 Symptom 5: Do You Feel Flawed, Wrong And Worthless?

14:37 Symptom 6: Do You Experience “Panic Attacks” Regularly?

17:29 Symptom 7: Do You Exhibit The Same Bad Behavior As Your Parents, Or Do You Magically Attract Partners Who Are As Dysfunctional As Your Parents?

20:08 Symptom 8: Do You Avoid Relationships And Social Engagement?

22:16 Symptom 9: Do People Often Tell You, Things Are Waaaaay Different, Than You See Them?

24:31 Symptom 10: Do You Struggle With Body-Image And Addictions?

26:10 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community: https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

“Feel your feelings. Allow your emotions.”

Ever heard these advices?

Well, then let me tell you, that this is not a good idea for everyone in every situation.

Because, especially if you had a childhood full of trauma, you may sometimes feel angry & furious about little things or just start crying in everyday situations.

This is emotional dysregulation, and it’s caused by early trauma.

And on top of that, we often feel shame & guilt around these emotions. So what can we do?

Today, I show you 7 ways on how to control these emotional outbursts.

You will learn that it’s not your fault if you have these intense emotions, and which skills you need in order to feel less thin-skinned and dysregulated.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

01:00 Emotional Dysregulation Stories

04:05 What Is Emotional Dysregulation?

07:29 Where In Childhood Is Emotional Dysregulation Rooted?

10:52 Emotional Dysregulation And The Central Nervous System

13:37 Emotional Dysregulation & Toxic Shame

19:23 Strategy 1: Stop-Command

21:28 Strategy 2: Write And Relax

23:45 Strategy 3: Walk Away

25:14 Strategy 4: Exit Persona

27:17 Strategy 5: Boundaries

32:11 Strategy 6: Compassion

33:37 Strategy 7: Humor

34:30 Outro

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about CPTSD & attachment theory for highly sensitive & neurodivergent people.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.