UNDERSTANDABLE

► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)

Do you sometimes just wish to “be normal”?

Hang out with people?

Not needing to isolate and distance yourself constantly?

Well, then you first have to understand why you behave like this.

So, maybe you are just a bit avoidant, or even have some form of avoidance personality disorder.

Or anywhere between, of course.

Today, we’re uncovering the differences between an avoidant attachment style and an avoidant personality disorder, plus what could be between them, and at which point avoidance and isolation become pathological.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: ⁠https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx⁠

AvPD Article: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9761-avoidant-personality-disorder

Avoidant Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=oL-CQTmdCmMVBaNL

Introversion vs. Autism Video: https://youtu.be/Y9IL7EJma0o?si=mIip9jMLJDJEuQTW

Understanding HSP Playlist:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLR7cijfpiNQGuGzInp1Jzf3XcGBKrab17&si=WbpXmoQMEjthb0SC

Becoming a Securely Attached Person Episode: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE?si=d_ozwMGTou2awMN3

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:30 Avoidant Attachment Style

05:03 Experiential Avoidance

06:28 Demand Avoidance

07:51 Avoidant Personality Disorder

10:32 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents a therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)

Do you regularly experience unexplainable pain or physical symptoms like brain fog and migraines, a dull feeling in your stomach, or a strange pressure in your chest?

And are these symptoms strangely tied to your relationships, dating scenarios, social situations, your everyday working life or just appear throughout the day?

Than chances are high, that you frustratedly ran from doctors office to doctors office, but no healthcare professional ever had a reason what’s actually wrong with you.

Now let me tell you the reason, WHY most physicians can’t explain these symptoms, and it’s all written down in here: It’s because, they are actually not physically caused, but psychologically.

Here are 10 Body Symptoms that are probably linked to your Mental Health and unresolved childhood trauma.

► Links and Resources:

10 Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=gB7NsSVDazWKbzWe

Hypervigilance Episode:

https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=HVMw6PX5VETztefg

Therapy Podcast:

https://youtu.be/7sh2uHxWbKk?si=GTwkL4zSpqvZIBRu

Dissociation Episode:

https://youtu.be/UZsTUS_jlYg?si=fGrC009rfvAxBqob

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Restless Legs:

https://jcsm.aasm.org/doi/10.5664/jcsm.7096

Pelvic Pain:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37308317/

Gut Issues:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/26636155

Lower Back Pain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25179418/

Chronic Back Pain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8118090/

Heart Disease: https://www.heart.org/en/news/2020/04/28/traumatic-childhood-increases-lifelong-risk-for-heart-disease-early-death

Bruxism:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36056716/

Teeth Grinding Article: https://prestigeveteranmctx.com/bruxism-and-ptsd/

Migraines:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22533684/

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19124690/

Functional Somatic Syndromes: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110516121732.htm

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:34 Overview

04:04 Symptom 1: Foot Pain & Restless Legs

06:39 Symptom 2: Pelvic Pain & Tension

08:18 Symptom 3: Stomach Issues

10:08 Symptom 4: Lower Back Pain

11:47 Symptom 5: Chest Tightness And Heart Palpitations

13:53 Symptom 6: Neck And Shoulder Pain

15:52 Symptom 7: Throat Constriction And Chronic Sore Throat

17:54 Symptom 8: Jaw Clenching

19:38 Symptom 9: Tension Headaches And Migraines

21:38 Symptom 10: Brain Fog And Chronic Fatigue

24:12 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents a therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

You know what’s insane?

People who never did anything wrong in their lives, but just have been themselves as children, feel ashamed and anxious in their adult lives.

Many of us who come from a childhood with judging, criticizing, and screaming parents don’t actually know what anxious and shame-free relationships feel like.

But the truth is: there is a life on the other side: happy, fulfilled, and non-shame-based relationships are possible - also for you.

How? I will show you throughout today’s video, which is, to give you an overview - video no 6 out of 8 of my series on the core symptoms of CPTSD. (all the other links below)

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Cycle Of Toxic Shame Episode: https://youtu.be/e0W9c_1lSHU?si=1U1iRdG8hC9MYgPf

Why We Avoid & Isolate Episode: https://youtu.be/PP9dvNWZ8p4?si=NAPzARicULRiXMxQ

Shadow Work Episode:

https://youtu.be/xPSEl9sOd9I?si=gAkxt4yBWWwv8wiP

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:57 Toxic Shame

02:55 Toxic Shame Vs. Anxiety

04:41 Toxic Shame Storytelling

05:55 The Consequences Of A Childhood Full Of Trauma

08:56 Consequences Storytelling

20:21 Is It Possible To Work Through And Heal Anxiety & Toxic Shame?

15:31 Solutions for Toxic Shame

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents a therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

Have you ever wondered what really “counts” as childhood trauma?

Most people think of only the “big, obvious” things.

But the reality is—trauma can take many different forms.

And some of them are quiet. Even Hidden.

BUT here’s the thing - they can leave scars just as deep.

That’s why today, we’re zooming out—and exploring 10 different types of childhood trauma together.

Some of them you might already recognize.

Others might surprise you.

One is definitely missed by most people.

And along the way, I’ll also show you what you can begin to do about it - because understanding your trauma is the first step toward healing it.

Definitely watch until the end, because every type we’ll cover matters—and each one can open a door toward greater understanding, compassion, and change for yourself, or your loved ones.

► Links and Resources:

Avoidant attachment style:

https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=0WTU_U9e4heGU2yR

Childhood Trauma Treatments Episode: https://youtu.be/UaslCkvMpws?si=glMb5RZtulsTQBU2

Disorganized Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=thkzIc-jKBIGDWDS

Working Through Avoidant Attachment: ⁠⁠⁠https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg ⁠⁠⁠

Working Through Anxious Attachment: ⁠https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: ⁠https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0 ⁠

Becoming Securely Attached: ⁠https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE⁠

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:39 Type 1: Emotional Neglect Trauma

04:00 Type 2: Bullying

07:09 Type 3: Complex Trauma

09:05 Type 4: Attachment Trauma/Early Childhood Trauma

10:57 Type 5: Physical Abuse Trauma

13:08 Type 6: Medical Trauma

15:12 Type 7: Systemic Trauma

17:15: Type 8: Disasters

19:50 Type 9: War-Related Trauma

22:36 Type 10: Grief Trauma

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents a therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

Have you ever felt like you want to be close to someone more than anything—

and yet, at the same time, you feel panicky and overwhelmed of getting close?

Like part of you craves intimacy… while another part is scanning for the first sign of betrayal, rejection, or abandonment?

It's because —especially early trauma—shapes the way we attach, connect, and even perceive safety and danger in others.

In today’s episode, we’re going to break this down together:

What is the core symptom behind interpersonal instability?

How does trauma fundamentally rewire the way we attach to others?

And how can you start managing those overwhelming emotional reactions in relationships without losing yourself

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

First Episode of Attachment Series: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=_gjZE9dEfe2OBXgm

Polyvagal Theory Episode:

https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=0OH70XrtI-QJ0SJp

Brain Activation in CPTSD: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344886575_The_sense_of_self_in_the_aftermath_of_trauma_Lessons_from_the_default_mode_network_in_posttraumatic_stress_disorder

Brain Dysregulation Episode:

https://youtu.be/-WJo7Seemzk?si=Kauyo-gNMF9ZPMjR

Fragmented Memory Episode: https://youtu.be/i1SF4Dhu3m0

Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:28 Series Overview

02:09 What Is Interpersonal Instability?

03:54 How Does Trauma Shape Our Attachment?

08:14 How Can I Differentiate Between Genuine Relationship Issues And My Trauma-Induced Perceptions?

13:41 How Can I Manage Intense Emotional Reactions In Relationships Effectively?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

Have you ever felt a wave of anger, panic, or irritation hit you so fast, you couldn’t stop it—even if you wanted to?

Maybe you then snapped at someone. Or shut down completely.

Maybe you felt ashamed right after… but couldn’t stop it in the moment.

That’s emotional dysregulation.

And for many of us with complex trauma, it’s not about “overreacting”—it’s about a nervous system that never learned safety.

In this episode, we’ll look at:

Why CPTSD makes emotional regulation so difficult

How to recognize and manage the triggers behind these intense reactions

And what it actually takes to feel safe again—inside your body, and in your relationships

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Polyvagal Theory Episode:

https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=0OH70XrtI-QJ0SJp

Anxious Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=yP6f0T9ivKO59QaL

Avoidant Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=1tkZzchAlLeeGaGh

12 Re-Regulation Tools Episode: https://youtu.be/i05BWtgjYRw?si=uP08IxAKAxsMhyGx

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:28 Series Overview

02:09 What Is Interpersonal Instability?

03:54 How Does Trauma Shape Our Attachment?

08:14 How Can I Differentiate Between Genuine Relationship Issues And My Trauma-Induced Perceptions?

13:41 How Can I Manage Intense Emotional Reactions In Relationships Effectively?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

What if the way you were treated growing up wasn’t just “normal”… but actually emotional abuse you were never taught to recognize?

Because here’s the truth—emotional abuse isn’t always loud.

It doesn’t always look like yelling, insults, or obvious control.

Sometimes, it’s the silence.

The subtle digs. The emotional distance. The constant sense that something’s wrong—but you’re the one being “too sensitive.”

And if you grew up in an environment like that—especially with complex trauma—it’s easy to miss the signs entirely… and carry the wounds into adulthood without even knowing it.

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about:

What emotional abuse really is, and why it matters so much for CPTSD survivors

7 hidden signs that most people overlook—but that shape how we see ourselves and our relationships

And what you can finally do now, as an adult, to start breaking the cycle and healing from it

► Links and Resources:

Avoidant Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18?si=PS3Bn5WzPQBGVU0U

Disorganized Attachment Style Episode:

https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=YbWs2mlPIguVcon2

Healthy Conflict Episode: https://youtu.be/ZhExIeU3Bys?si=KCvnw_AUnEIom2lN

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:41 What Is Emotional Abuse And Why Does It Matter So Much For CPTSD Survivors

04:16 Sign 1: Being Shamed For Having Needs Or Emotions

06:35 Sign 2: Conditional Love And Approval

08:28 Sign 3: The Disguised Put-Downs: Jokes That Hurt

10:04 Sign 4: The Silent Treatment As Punishment

12:52 Sign 5: Your Feelings Were Dismissed Or Used Against You

14:55 Sign 6: Feeling Like The “Bad One” For Setting Boundaries

16:28 Sign 7: Emotional Neglect

18:12 What Can You Do About Emotional Abuse And Childhood Trauma?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

Do you believe what you’re thinking about your past?

Are you convinced that what you know about your childhood is true?

Well, then this episode might be a brainwash for you, because what I’m telling you today is that the truth that you might believe is actually a lie.

Because - and many don’t know about this - if you experienced childhood trauma in your past, your memories from these tough times might be fragmented, buried, or disrupted - and your brain did that, to protect you.

So in this video, we will uncover how trauma causes altered memory and memory disorders.

How this can cause issues with attention and focus (and how that might be linked to ADHD)

And we talk about what you can do specifically about issues with memory and attention.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Hypervigilance Episode:

https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI

Avoidant Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Disorganized Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

ADHD & CPTSD Episode: https://youtu.be/limKlx4h_F4

12:07:09 Signs It’s CPTSD, Not ADHD: https://youtu.be/N1UM0y77Jw4

The Whitebook: https://www.racgp.org.au/getattachment/4ab6102c-67d9-4440-9398-a3ae759164ef/Abuse-and-violence-Working-with-our-patients-in-general-practice.aspx

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:09 Fragmented Memory And Altered Attention, What Is That?

05:31 Why You Can’t Trust Your Thoughts And Memories, If You Have A History Of Trauma

11:04 Altered Attention, Focus Issues, And The Link With ADHD

13:16 What We Can Do About It

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt an overwhelming wave of fear, sadness, or panic—seemingly out of nowhere?

Your heart races. Your body tenses. You feel trapped, unsafe, like something is terribly wrong… but you have no idea why.

You might think it’s an anxiety or panic attack.

But here’s the thing:

What you’re experiencing is probably a flashback—a moment where your body and emotions are re-living something from the past, that your mind doesn’t consciously remember.

And to make this important topic more understandable, in this video, we’re going to talk about:

How you can tell if it’s a specific type of flashback or a panic attack

Why your nightmares might be re-experiencing trauma—even if they don’t seem to be.

And about the most effective grounding techniques to calm emotional flashbacks and intrusive memories—so they stop controlling your life.

Because you deserve to feel safe again.

► Links and Resources:Toxic Shame Episode:

https://youtu.be/9XpiOkHSpjI?si=usI7UV5S1sfsKnSS

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

PTSD UK Flashbacks:

https://www.ptsduk.org/what-is-ptsd/understanding-ptsd-flashbacks-and-triggers/

REM-Sleep & Trauma Study: https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.159.10.1696

Emotional Flashback Management By Pete Walker: https://i.ibb.co/k2y7rWW/Emotional-Flashback-Management.jpg

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:33 Series Overview

02:12 How Do I Know If It’s A Flashback, And How To Distinguish Between Different Types Of Flashbacks?

05:52 Flashbacks Vs. Panic Attacks

07:29 Why Do I Experience Vivid Nightmares? (That Often Don’t Directly Point Towards Trauma)

10:21 What Are The Most Effective Grounding Techniques To Calm Emotional Flashbacks And Intrusive Memories?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

Are you right now suffering from severe emotional heartbreak? Or are you trying to overcome a dating situation where someone is not loving you back or ghosting you? Or did you lose someone you truly loved just recently?

Whatever your situation is. The skill you need the most right now is to detach and let got.

But here’s the truth—letting go isn’t just about time passing…

Detachment is about breaking the invisible ties that keep you emotionally bonded.

Detachment is hard and fundamentally a survival skill.

So in this video I will try to outline carefully:

Why detaching is so difficult for us human beings, even when you know it’s over

How to stop obsessively thinking about the other person and break free from the mental loops that keep us pulling back

And a strategy on how to emotionally detach without feeling empty, lonely, or like you lost a part of yourself

► Links and Resources:

Codependency Episode:

https://youtu.be/OSeR88YWwhU?si=ml8HkGb82O222vOR

Limerence Episode:

https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=rrqtz-_6Fmh-zkkp

Regulating Through Fantasies Episode: https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=wUik1iAai_O-36Pq

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:46 Why Is It So Hard To Let Go Of Someone?

06:12 How Do You Stop Obsessively Thinking About Them All The Time?

12:22 How Do You Emotionally Detach And Let Go?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.