UNDERSTANDABLE

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Have you ever felt on such high alert mode that picked up on the tension in someone’s voice before they even spoke, or felt like your body felt electrized & tensioned… even if there was no obvious reason?

Maybe you’ve been told you're just too sensitive, or that you're overreacting. But deep down, you know something is off. Your mind never stops, your body never fully relaxes—and no matter how safe things should feel, it’s like your system just won’t ease.

So, what is hypervigilance really? And how do you know if it’s a symptom of childhood trauma… or just your highly sensitive nervous system?

And if it’s from trauma, how does it affect your relationships?

Well, today, we’ll uncover the truth about hypervigilance, why it happens, and—most importantly—the most effective ways to manage and reduce it so you can finally feel at peace in your own body.

► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Polyvagal Theory Episode:

⁠https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=KqfKns7ngiXYQoGw⁠

HSP Episode:

https://youtu.be/J5Ys0iYRitg?si=6qfiY9KcC4RuGImu

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:37 Series Overview

02:29 Hypervigilance: What It Is And How It Feels Like

05:31 Hypervigilance Or Just A Sensitive Nervous System?

08:11 Hypervigilance And Relationships

12:19 Solutions For Hypervigilance

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

I recently came across that idea, that we as human beings are all just children inside, living in adult bodies.

Or in other words, that growing up does not mean we’re leaving our inner child behind.

This might fundamentally change how you see the world.

Now, if you are open for this idea, then in today’s video I’d like to invite you to a quick mind experiment where we explore this idea together.

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:58 Mind Experiment

04:01 Basic Needs Of A Child

05:12 What Being A Child In An Adult Body Would Mean For Us

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

If you are insecurely attached, so have an avoidant, an anxious or a fearful-avoidant attachment style, the big question is:

IS IT POSSIBLE TO WORK THROUGH AND TRANSFORM AN INSECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE AND RESOLVE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS AND THE SYMPTOMS OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA?

I'll give you the answer straight away:

Our attachment style is not determined like for example our Myer’s Briggs Personality Type.

Therefore, we have the ability to change and transform our attachment patterns in many areas.

Usually, we need to go through these 4 stages that I will explain to you in detail in this video.

And I will introduce you to the big 3 skills you need to learn and nurture in order to transform insecure attachment & live healthier relationships.

► Links and Resources:

Journey To Secure Attachment Blog Article: https://exquisite.love/blog/journey-to-secure-attachment

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=4kYlgVNI2HiLSbyG

Codependency Episode:

https://youtu.be/OSeR88YWwhU?si=adqBVXyu7AV-oMop

Toxic Shame Episode:

https://youtu.be/ELUfIk0lzxU?si=iqiQDtYL1VhhK255

Polyvagal Theory Episode:

https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=KqfKns7ngiXYQoGw

99 Positive Beliefs Episode:

https://youtu.be/YKaFLo_USU0?si=thC3Rjz14czki1Ds

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE⁠

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:29 The Path From Insecure To Secure Attachment

Final Thoughts

03:52 Stage 1: Unconscious Insecurity

05:54 Stage 2: Conscious Insecurity

08:12 Stage 3: Conscious Security

10:51 Stage 4: Unconscious/Natural Security

13:50 How To Transform Insecure Attachment

14:17 Skill 1: Self Regulation

17:53 Skill 2: Self-Care

20:02 Skill 3: Self-Resourcing

21:05 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

In the last six episodes here on this channel, we talked about all the insecure attachment styles that often are the consequence of a traumatic childhood.

Around 40% of the population belong to that group of insecurely attached people, according to attachment expert Heidi Priebe.

But - that also means that at the same time, the majority, so 60% of us are actually securely attached.

And while securely attached people mistype as anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant, it’s highly interesting to look at 10 signs today, that you’re a securely attached person, who may attract healthy relationships.

► Links and Resources:

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

⁠⁠⁠https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=eph_m17ILcFl1qYV

How Honest Conflict Builds Intimacy Episode:

https://youtu.be/ZhExIeU3Bys?si=aixr-TVX2a8b-UhM

Limerence Episode:

⁠https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=fZkv0Mty0_w1sHyI

Attachment Style Quiz:

https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:33 How Does Having A Secure Attachment Style Feel Like?

05:03 Sign 1: You Understand That Other People’s Emotions Are Not A Reflection Of You & Don’t Take Them Personally

07:49 Sign 2: You Address Issues & Conflict Directly And Calmly

10:59 Sign 3: You Welcome Love In All Forms - Giving And Receiving With Ease

12:28 Sign 4: You Emphasize & Connect Deeply With Others While Maintaining Emotional Balance

14:22 Sign 5: You Embrace Both, Independence And Interdependence In Relationships

17:13 Sign 6: You Trust Yourself And Your Instincts When It Comes To Relationships

18:51 Sign 7: You Set Clear Goals And Collaborate In A Way That Respects Your Needs And Others’

20:18 Sign 8: You Naturally Seek And Accept Support When Needed

23:01 Sign 9: You Feel Secure & In Your Comfort Zone Whether You’re Single Or In A Relationship

26:05 Sign 10: You Bounce Back With Strength And Wisdom After Relationship Challenges

28:47 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠⁠ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠ (Ad)

Is it possible to work through and heal the wounds of a fearful-avoidant attachment style?

When you read into the fearful-avoidant attachment style you often get the hopeless message that it’s really difficult or even impossible to manage and overcome the symptoms.

Fairly, it won’t be easy, but if you have this attachment style and truly put the work in, I believe that long term improvements are possible and will make your relationship-life healthier.

To give you some approaches and a starting point, I brought together 5 ways to work through a fearful-avoidant attachment style.

► Links and Resources:

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=eph_m17ILcFl1qYV⁠⁠Polyvagal Theory Episode:

https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=wk-SaHl2jetGtYEu

A simple 3-Step Process To Actually Work On Yourself Episode:

https://youtu.be/mWr7CG-RlrI?si=xfgLSGA7TC3DV6eM

Shadow Work Episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPSEl9sOd9I

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:26 Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: You Are Not Alone!

05:42 Approach 1: Re-Regulating The Dysregulated Nervous System

09:12 Approach 2: Integrating The Anxious & Avoidant Shadows

14:18 Approach 3: Inner Child & Re-Parenting Work

19:06 Approach 4: Establish Secure Relationship Habits

24:44 Approach 5: Practising Safe, Secure Connections

27:06 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠ (Ad)

The fearful-avoidant attachment style is the one style that is the most often mistyped one.

While there are around 18 - 20% of people having an avoidant attachment style and 18 - 20 % having an anxious attachment style, only 1 - 2% of the population actually has fearful-avoidant characteristics according to attachment expert Heidie Priebe.

By saying that, all attachment styles can exhibit both behaviors in certain situations.

And to understand the actual difference between an anxious or avoidant and the fearful-avoidant attachment style, I have prepared 10 signs that you might have a fearful-avoidant attachment style.

► Links and Resources:

Attachment Style Quiz:⁠

https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/⁠

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

⁠https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=eph_m17ILcFl1qYV⁠

10 Signs of Trauma from Childhood Episode: https://youtu.be/5VwTxkjO5Ak?si=oxwsC7OzcSEaaE72

High Sensation Seeker Episode: https://youtu.be/fkA4o9ECdGE?si=1v9lNUVUgrjw1-Ry

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠

Apple Podcasts:⁠⁠

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:55 How Does Havign A Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style Feel Like?

05:06 Sign 1: You Doubt Your Worthiness For A Healthy Relationship

07:54 Sign 2: You Long For Connection But Struggle With Commitment

10:35 Sign 3: You Over-Analyze Relationships And Motives

13:04 Sign 4: You Swing Between Taking Too Much And Too Little Responsibility

15:27 Sign 5: You Prefer Others To Open Up Emotionally Before You Do

17:35 Sign 6: You Chronically Fear Abandonment And Rejection

19:25 Sign 7: Your Logic And Emotions Often Feel Out Of Sync

23:04 Sign 8: You’re Emotionally Ambivalent Towards Independence

24:32 Sign 9: You Frequently Seek Intensity And Emotional Highs

28:08 Sign 10: You Love Deeply But Struggle To Fully Integrate Relationships Into Your Life

29:59 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:

⁠https://understandable.net/join/⁠ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠ (Ad)

• If you can identify yourself with an anxious attachment style, today I have good news for you!

• There are ways to work through & heal the wounds of an anxious attachment style.

• Therefore today, I’d like to share 5 possible approaches with you.

  
  

► Links and Resources:

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

⁠https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=eph_m17ILcFl1qYV⁠

Regulating Through Fantasies:

⁠https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA⁠

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube:⁠⁠

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠

Apple Podcasts:

⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠

Amazon Music:⁠⁠

https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:29 Why Classic Couples Counselling Will Not Be On This List?

04:06 Approach 1: Re-Parenting The Anxious Inner Child

08:32 Approach 2: Bringing Reality Into Fantasy

14:02 Approach 3: Shadow Work: Integrating Anxious Wounds

18:33 Approach 4: Inner (Anxious) Work

23:47 Approach 5: Establish Secure Relationship Habits

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Are you always a bit more committed than the people you date or are in a relationship with?

And have you find it difficult to even find someone who is interested in building a real relationship?

Well, than you may have an anxious attachment style (or it’s because of the shitty dating behaviors these days - who knows).

In the case that you are regularly the more needy and clingy part, the 10 signs that we reveal in today’s video may be truly eye opening for you.

This way, you will uncover a ton of blindspots of an anxious attachment style.

► Links and Resources:

Attachment Style Quiz:https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:

https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=eph_m17ILcFl1qYV

Limerence Episode:

https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A

Regulating Through Fantasies:

https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

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► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:26 Series Overview

02:43 How Does Having An Anxious Attachment Style Feel Like?

04:24 Sign 1: You Are Always Trying To Feel Good Enough

06:10 Sign 2: You Feel Like You’re Loving More Than Others

08:22 Sign 3: You Feel Responsible For Fixing Other People's Emotions

09:25 Sign 4: You Love Deep Talk (And Hate Smalltalk)

10:56 Sign 5: You Put Potential Partners On A Pedestal

12:27 Sign 6: You’re People Pleasing In The Early Stage Of Your Relationships

13:39 Sign 7: Your Relationships Take Up A Lot Of Your Headspace

18:22 Sign 8: You Fear Of Being Too Much

20:16 Sign 9: You Are Self-Regulating Through Fantasies

22:42 Sign 10: You Have Poor Boundaries

23:42 Solutions

25:04 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Maybe you watched the last episode about avoidant attachment and screamed: OMG Yes, this is so me!

Here are 5 ways to work through and manage an avoidant attachment style.

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube:⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify:⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts:⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music:⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Links & Resources:

The 4 Attachment Styles Episode:https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=4z5PvBpgQvg6o6fK

Toxic Shame Episode:https://youtu.be/ELUfIk0lzxU?si=GPNZPdmgpvt0f1Xj

Fear of Commitment Episode:https://youtu.be/Xf1iuvoO0lM?si=Sdv_oPzGIBdsmIMo

IFS-Therapy Episode:https://youtu.be/xNViG2xhHGg?si=XAMmSxxxePHz2hoo

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

03:09 Why Classic Couple’s Counselling Will Not Be On This List?

04:35 Approach 1: Working With The Avoidant Inner Child

11:47 Approach 2: Shadow Work: Integrating Avoidant Wounds

19:45 Approach 3: Body-Based Resolution For Avoidance-Driven Symptoms

23:40 Approach 4: Inner (Avoidant) Parts Work

26:37 Approach 5: Avoidant Attachment (Repair) Exercises

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Get Access To Our Courses & Community:https://understandable.net/join/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

The dismissive, avoidant attachment style is by far the type which is most often blamed for causing relationship issues.

At the same time, avoidantly attached people are also the ones who are misunderstood the most. - By others and by themselves.

Therefore, today we will unfold 10 signs of a dismissive avoidant attachment style -

And by doing so, also revealing some very significant blindspots of avoidantly attached people.

I am sure you will feel exposed more and more as we go through the signs.

► Links and Resources:

CPTSD & The 4 Attachment Styles:https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=qJZ3Edj8pl3kdV39

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper:https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

Schema-Theory:https://www.schematherapy.com/id73.htm

Avoidant Attachment & Schema Theory Paper:https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-023-01172-9

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Book *Ad:https://amzn.to/4aAk3y4

Gender Differences & Attachment:https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9312160/

Attachment Style Quiz:https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/

Attachment Styles Series:

Episode 1/8: Avoidant Attachment Style: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18

Episode 2/8: Working Through Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/FpNODQ7xYJg

Episode 3/8: Anxious Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY

Episode 4/8: Working Through Anxious Attachment: https://youtu.be/lbLG9432BkY

Episode 5/8: Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8

Episode 6/8: Working Through Fearful Avoidant Attachment: https://youtu.be/leT0-kFOSR0

Episode 7/8: Secure Attachment: 10 Signs: https://youtu.be/YXdW4mwwogo

Episode 8/8: Becoming Securely Attached: https://youtu.be/wq6sRKNdUsE

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:24 Series Overview

02:55 How Does Having An Avoidant Attachment Style Feel Like?

06:37 Sign 1: For You, Love Means, Not Demanding Someone

08:42 Sign 2: You Don’t Understand What It Means To Be Vulnerable

10:15 Sign 3: You Detach When Things Get Too Emotional

11:57 Sign 4: Radical Personal Responsibility Is One Of Your Core Values

15:22 Sign 5: You Downplay Conflict And Avoid Confrontation

18:30 Sign 6: Intimate Relationships Create Constant Pressure

20:58 Sign 7: You Are Very Protective Around Your Own Life Decisions, While Your Relationships Are Negotiable

23:40 Sign 8: You Can Meet Your Partners Practical Needs, But Not Their Emotional Needs

25:32 Sign 9: For You, Emotional Dependence Equals Weakness

26:25 Sign 10: You Want A Relationship, But Don’t Find A Partner Who Fits Your High Standards

29:01 Solutions

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.