Beyond Success

Good girls date men who are clearly “bad news.”

And even though most bad boys display blatant warnings and red flags, the allure of dating one is too strong for most good girls.

Why is that?

Well, for starters, looks, muscles, money, and even spontaneity is only part of the equation.

The other?

It’s all to do with the “unfinished business” in both his and her lives. And in today’s episode, I reveal the exact reason why good girls can be attracted to bad boys. 

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. Child support, crippling alimony payouts, and heartbreak. Here’s how to avoid a traumatic divorce (4:24)
• Caught your wife cheating with a coworker? Here’s why that doesn’t necessarily mean a divorce (and why it actually could be a long, and passionate marriage) (10:59)
• How to have a long lasting marriage by understanding the three stages every single marriage goes (11:55)
• Why exciting, passionate sex in a marriage has very little to do with physical looks, but more so to do with your psychology (28:18)
• In a bad fight with your wife or girlfriend? Here are five losing “strategies” that could push your marriage closer towards divorce (36:37)
• Why good girls have so much sexual chemistry with bad boys (and why it’s partially her fault) (38:11)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

“The Dual Dynamic” makes or breaks your relationship.

And if you don’t understand it, your relationship is doomed (even if you don’t break up, and stay together in the long run.)

Because even if you stay together, there’s no chemistry, connection, or passion, leading to…

Less sex, less intimacy, more fights, and ultimately divorce. 

Now, if the above scares you, then read on. 

By listening to this episode, you’ll discover: 

• How to build the initial stages of chemistry
• How bad guys always seem to the win the hearts of good girls
• Why most marriages are plagued with “bland sex”
• And what you can do to reignite the spark in your marriage

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• How to understand the difference between a healthy and a toxic relationship (3:16)
• So, why do good girls like bad guys? There’s two main reasons, and we discuss them at (10:26) and (23:05)
• How your parent’s strict discipline forces your wife to view you as a “boring” and “harmless” nice guy (and these are NOT good traits to have if you want passionate sex with your wife) (10:44)
• Why nice guys can be locked in the friendzone forever — even if she finds him a total 10/10 (20:06)
• How men — by default — “reverse” the attractive qualities of their girlfriend (the same qualities that made her attractive in the first place) (25:05) 
• Finally! We know why women try to “fix” their crazy boyfriend (even if he’s a repeat offender, and has been to jail multiple times) (27:40)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Most guys mistakenly think falling in love equals a thriving sex life.

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. They’re two separate concepts. And if you don’t understand the difference, there’s a good chance that…

You’ll end up in a sexless relationship.

One where you sleep in separate beds.One where you never have sex. And the only time you do, you awkwardly climb on top of her, spend about 30 minutes with the lights off, but… 

She doesn’t feel anything (and neither do you.) 

So, that’s the bad news.

Ready for the good news?

In today’s episode, I reveal how to ignite sexual passion in your relationship (even if it’s been more than a year.) 

You’ll also discover how to create sexual desire for yourself (even if you’re overweight, and a “nice guy.”) In fact, sexual desire has more to do with your brain, and less with your body. 

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Yes, even as a “good guy”, you can create sexual desire for yourself (works even if you haven’t had sex in a while) (3:21)
• Falling in love DOES NOT equal a thriving sex life. The way to achieve passionate sex in your relationship? Eliminate your “sexual shame” (3:48)
• Trying to “earn” sex by being nice is why white knights don’t get laid (11:19)
• How to have mind-altering sex with your wife by visiting the cop shop (13:54)
• Why focusing on “sex psychology” turns your wife on 80% more than physical sex techniques (15:20)
• How to give any woman a spectacular orgasm without even touching her (you could do this with a messenger pigeon) (19:16)
• Yes, women like men who are dominant in the bedroom. But what’s “too far” in terms of dominance? The answer is at (20:07)
• No, contrary to popular belief, women don’t like being penetrated by a “jackhammer.” They prefer (this) (20:59)
• How to turn your wife on like a faucet by using these 3 “bad boy” qualities (and no, you don’t have to be a “bad boy” to use them) (29:47)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Smart men repulse attractive women.

And it’s not because of their looks, status, or sex appeal either. But it’s all got to do with failing to understand “EI.”

Once you naturally tap into “EI”, flirting, dating, and relationships become a breeze — It’s near effortless. 

Not only that, “EI” isn’t some new concept. It’s been around since the 20th century, and celebrities like David Beckham, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Keanu Reeves all tap into “EI.” 

And if you want to have a long-term, successful relationship, then you must understand “EI.” 

In today’s episode, I reveal how smart men can succeed at relationships with “EI.” 

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Why nerds are forced to settle for women who are way past their peak sexual market value (2:25)
• Are you a smart guy that just got married? Here’s how to avoid “hell” commonly seen at the Year 3 mark of any marriage (2:52)
• How intelligent men can enhance their relationships by understanding “EI” (and “EI” has nothing to do with looks or sex appeal) (3:55)
• The wrong way to approach a relationship? Fall in love with her (20:30)
• How smart men sabotage their marriages by viewing their wife as a “sidekick” to their life’s greater goals (23:27)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:

https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Women HATE men who need to be right all the time. 

The most anti-seductive and relationship-destroying action a man can do is intellectually argue with his wife or girlfriend. When men “correct” or debate their partner while ignoring her emotions, she feels:

• Unseen
• Unheard
• Unsafe
• And she will pull away unconsciously because of the lack of emotional connection

So, if men want to enjoy successful relationships or even successfully date women, they need to get rid of the, “Either I’m right or you are” mentality.

And in today’s episode, I reveal how to deepen your connection with women and your partner by being ok when she says something you think is “wrong.” You’ll also discover why we are actually programmed by society to think like children. 

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• What single guys get wrong about attracting women (It’s got nothing to do with looks, status, presence, sex appeal, or muscles) (0:54) 
• How to adopt the correct attitude for a positive long-term relationship with these 13 words (1:54)
• The flat out bizarre way to find your dream girl by secretly dating the female version of Adolf Hitler (2:47)
• [Single White Guys] Are you actually any better than a psychopath? (3:22)
• Why “authoritarian” domestic violence laws force men to unleash their rage in an unhealthy way (6:30)
• How to stop nasty fights with your wife by looking over your shoulder, making sure no cars are there, and putting it in reverse (12:02)
• Why finding “the one” is harder than ever before because single young people are programmed by society to think like children (supported by psychologists) (15:10)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Women are turned on by emotionally strong men — they crave rugged masculinity.

But if you’re going through the therapeutic process, you have to lower the gates to the castle. In short, you need to be vulnerable. And during your process of healing and growing, it might be too much for your significant other. There’s a possibility she’ll think you're an “emotional basket case.”

Worst part?

If you don’t include her in your transformation, there’s a real chance she’ll feel threatened and alienated by your progress — and the relationship could terminate because of it.

That’s the bad news.

The good news?

I reveal how to undertake the therapeutic process — without alienating your significant other.

Today’s also a special episode, because for the first time, we have a guest. Today’s guest is Brandon, and we have an on-air, live chat about how to figure out exactly how vulnerable he should be in front of women. We also delve into exactly WHY he feels vulnerable, as well as the coping strategies he unknowingly implements.

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Ever ask yourself, “why did I say that?!?” and feel horribly image conscious? Brandon and I discuss this at (4:17)
• How to unlock supreme security in your self-image by teaching others jiu jitsu (even if you have no experience with jiu jitsu) (5:27)
• The shocking degree to which your parents unknowingly installed positive—or negative—traits in your life (without IFS therapy, you have very little control over how you react in certain situations) (9:33)
• How to tap into the deepest parts of your psyche by holding a small, fragile puffer fish with delicate care (12:26)
• Ever feel an uncontrollable urge to argue with others—even when normal people would consider your actions “over-the-top”? The answer is at (15:43)
• Your pre-installed “mischievous little brother” part which forces you to shut down and ignore others (sabotaging your relationships because of it) (18:45)
• Ever crave for an older brother, father, or male-mentor in your life? We discuss why at (33:08)
• The “unblending” strategy to stop a flurry of overwhelming emotions (and finally be able to settle down into a long-term relationship) (37:22)
• Why attending therapy with your significant ensures you don’t become an “emotional basket case” in front of her (39:18)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

===

“Hi David,

Why do we crave women we’ve only just met? And why are we depressed when we get rejected when asking for a longer relationship? What's behind it, and how do I tackle this situation?

When I meet a new girl, I’m happy and I jump around — my life is full of joy. I think about her all the time, and I’m in a needy state… even though the chances for a long-term relationship at this point are still miles away.

So, how do I control my feelings in a healthy way? A way so I don’t get destroyed if she rejects or friendzones me?

===

That question came in from Listener Ronnie.

And in today’s episode, I reveal how to eliminate the feelings of anxiety and neediness when dating women. I also share WHY you crave women you’ve just met, and a few unconventional methods to overcome your pre-installed traits.

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• How learning to seduce a 9 or 10 by giving her “the look” still leaves you needy and anxious for her approval (2:54)
• Why believing a girlfriend will “complete you” sabotages your long-term happiness and fulfillment (3:21)
• Ever crave for a woman you’ve only met for a short time? Why is that? The answer is at (6:43) Do you feel depressed when rejected by a woman—even one you’ve only known for a couple of weeks? The answer is also at (6:43)
• How to feel unending bliss—and live a life full of joy—by left-swiping women on Tinder who are spontaneous (and add fun to your life) (7:20)
• Why the “Twin Terrors” force you to self-sabotage on a date—and act like an emotionally manipulative victim. Most men suffer from this their entire life… do you? (9:26)
• Over 40 and feel like you have to perform in order to feel worthy of love? The answer is at (11:07)
• The 4 different “attachment styles” which points out why we need to constantly check if she’s replied back (20:40)
• How to terminate neediness when meeting a woman by using a depth gauge and a compass (authorized by the Navy Seals) (24:59)
• The “abundance theory” superpower which eliminates neediness with one tap of a button on your phone (and here’s why this mindset will obliterate any hope of a successful long-term relationship) (26:50)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Few people know their true purpose in life and even fewer follow their purpose on a regular basis.

Most people lack hope, joy, and meaning. It robs them of any happiness they used to have in life.

• They don’t feel motivated to do anything
• Struggle to roll out of bed at 10am
• Procrastinate for hours about brushing their teeth
• And it looks like the Tsar Bomba exploded in their room

They’re chained to their desks. Secretly want to strangle their boss. Hang off the edge of their seats, desperate for their Apple watch to hit 5pm.

So, how do you find meaning in life?

In today’s episode, I reveal the “Contemplation” tactic that’s required for discovering your life’s purpose. You’ll also discover why endlessly scrolling through your phone creates a vicious cycle of depression, anxiety, and mental chatter.

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Why playing a round of bingo with the old folks — instead of watching an Andrew Tate video — enhances your life’s direction by a power of 10:1 (1:36)
• How to uncover fulfillment, happiness, and constant success in life by accessing your “mind’s eye” (no, it’s not meditation or chakra training) (2:46)
• Tune into your subconscious’s deepest thoughts, feelings, desires with the “60:20 Rule” (and achieve a sense of clarity and peace like you’ve never felt before) (5:48)
• Under 30 and lack purpose? Unlock direction in your life by watching commercials from 2006 (6:50)
• How binge watching motivational videos for 6 hours sucks the motivation and energy from your body like a Hoover vacuum (12:14)
• 9 “Introspection Practices” to break free from your constant mental chatter (and eliminate your anxiety and nervous thoughts) (18:39)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Do you want a long-term relationship, or do you want lots of casual, hot sex?

Reason I ask: a “one-size-fits-all” approach when dating women doesn’t work. What’s worse, is mixing up the approaches, and applying the wrong approach. For example, if you optimized your dating life for short-term, promiscuous sex…

Then you’re making it near impossible to find a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship.

The opposite is true as well. If you try and optimize for the long-term, then your chances of bedding a woman every week is impossible.

So, what are these approaches I speak of? In today’s episode, I reveal how to hook up with as many hot, college aged girls as you can. And If that isn’t of interest to you, you’ll also discover why being discriminatory to a certain group of people is the key to having a long-term marriage.

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Why “WPF” destroys your marriage before it even starts (and is especially harmful for men who have no dating experience, but still want to get married later on) (5:37)
• The counterintuitive reason why being a man-whore at 19 “ethically forces” you to be a loving husband (who never cheats on his wife) (6:00)
• Are you interested in hot sex with lots of women? Or are you interested in a long-term relationship? There are 5 different personalities, and you can learn which one you are with the “Truth Tree” (9:21)
• How even butt ugly guys can have a rock solid relationship — one with a 95% success rate — by choosing (this) (12:11)
• Why thinking “I’ll date a couple girls, and I’ll marry the one I like the most” murders your chances of a loving relationship (14:41)
• How to turn on your soulmate by turning her off as quick as possible (18:02)
• [Asian Men] Looking for a long-term, authentic relationship with a white girl? Take her to a sashimi place (20:40)
• Are you palms sweaty, knees weak, and arms heavy when on a date? It’s because of your “toxic shame” (not to be confused with toxic masculinity) (32:03)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

“She stares deeply into your eyes, with a playful smile across her face. She races across to the far right corner of the room, and flicks off the switch with her left hand. Your eyes haven’t adjusted to the new lighting, it’s now pitch black, and you can hear her shifting around near the bed…

She’s getting undressed. 

The nerves start to kick in. Your stomach starts to churn. It’s finally happening — and you’re not prepared. After what feels like an eternity, she’s completely naked, with the sheets off, lying on her back in your bed.

She rolls over to her left, makes full eye contact, slowly raises her hand, and curls her index finger. 

She wants you to come into bed.

What do you do?”

The reason why I wrote this short vignette: Many men have a hard time in the bedroom. Even though we love to fantasize about what we’d do, the reality is, many guys still choke up in the bedroom. And the reason for this is sexual shame. 

Sexual shame is:

• What holds us back from taking the lead role in the bedroom (essential, as research shows the majority of women don’t like submissive guys)
• What stops us from enjoying sex
• Feeling like a “creep” or “monster” for simply being attracted to women
• Guilt over having purely physical desires for sexual contact with someone
• Feeling overwhelming shame for indulging in some kind of sexual activity or self-pleasure

Obviously, sexual shame is a huge burden among men. And in today’s episode, I reveal how to overcome your sexual shame.

Listen now!

Show Highlights Include:

• Why your own sexual shame is one of the biggest burdens preventing you from accessing your natural attractiveness (0:25)
• How the feelings of post-nut clarity psychologically represses you and your ability to find a girlfriend (2:21)
• The “Good Boy” coping mechanism that distracts you from overcoming your shame (which prevents you from falling in love with the “one”) (3:00)
• Enjoy flirting and banter by unburdening yourself from your sexual shame (3:34)
• How to get your girlfriend begging for more by accessing your “Inner-50-Shades-of-Grey” (4:59)
• “If you leave your sexual shame unexamined, it will sabotage your attractiveness as a man” (38:06)

Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 15 years, I've helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I'm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to check out my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://www.davidtianphd.com/masterclass/ now.

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery