Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

 

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In this podcast episode, I want to talk about something that many of us can relate to. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you constantly try to keep the peace, always making sure your partner is okay and avoiding any conflicts? You might feel like you're walking on eggshells, nervous about expressing your true thoughts and feelings because you fear it will lead to arguments or you being perceived as the "bad guy."

It's crucial to understand that the primary aim of any relationship should never be solely about keeping the peace. While I recognize that safety can be a significant concern in some relationships, constantly suppressing your needs and desires to maintain harmony can lead to a state of trauma bonding. This is an unhealthy pattern where you become hypersensitive to your partner's reactions, always seeking their approval while trying to avoid criticism.

This podcast episode delves into the complexity of trauma-bonded relationships, where you find yourself sacrificing your true identity to please your partner. Over time, this can erode your sense of self, leaving you feeling hollow and empty when you finally break free.

The episode emphasizes the importance of

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Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Trauma bonding is a complex relationship where extreme emotional highs and lows are experienced. In the beginning, it often feels magical with intense love, but it can also involve criticism, manipulation, and abuse. This cycle repeats over time. When things hit rock bottom, discussions of change might occur, leading to a renewed sense of love and hope. However, these highs are short-lived, and the relationship becomes increasingly painful. People may feel numb, disconnected from reality, and lose their sense of self.

The concept of trauma here involves both "big T" traumas, such as physical abuse, and "little T" traumas, which are subtler but still damaging. These little T traumas can accumulate and cause severe distress. They might include constant criticism, belittling, threats, or emotional manipulation.

The trauma bond typically follows several stages:

1. Love Bombing: The abuser showers the victim with intense affection and promises, drawing them in.
2. Trust and Dependency: Plans for the future are made, creating a sense of security and commitment.
3. Criticism: The abuser starts criticizing the victim, eroding their self-esteem.
4. Gaslighting and Manipulation: The abuser distorts reality, making the victim doubt their perceptions and judgments.
5. Resignation of Control: The victim eventually gives up trying to assert themselves or defend against criticism.
6. Loss of Self: The victim loses their identity, trying to conform to the abuser's expectations.
7. Addiction: The victim becomes addicted to the emotional highs, hoping for a return to the initial love and passion.

Breaking free from a trauma bond can be challenging but is essential for one's well-being. Recognizing that one doesn't need to be broken before leaving such a toxic relationship is crucial. It's vital to seek support from friends, family, or professionals to regain control, heal, and rebuild a healthier sense of self.

If you're looking to improve your relationships, solve relationship problems, heal trauma bonding, or are surviving infidelity, please reach out! I'm on

 Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
 www.healtraumabonding.com

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

 

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In this podcast episode, we're diving into the topic of vulnerability leading to trauma-bonded relationships, and it's a crucial issue we all need to be aware of. Many people fail to connect the dots between their past experiences, upbringing, and how they find themselves in toxic, trauma-bonded relationships. Often, individuals enter these relationships without realizing it until it's too late.

The vulnerability to trauma bonding can be traced back to one's upbringing and early attachments. Our subconscious beliefs and thoughts are deeply ingrained by the age of six or seven, shaping how we interact with others and the kind of relationships we seek as adults. If you grew up with conditional love and the belief that you must meet others' expectations to be worthy of affection, you may become a people-pleaser in adulthood.

Trauma-bonded relationships often start with the "love bombing" phase, where you feel cherished and seen. This intense attention can be addictive, especially if you've longed for it due to your earlier conditioning. As the relationship progresses, you may experience criticism, manipulation, and gaslighting, which further erodes your self-worth. You begin to believe that you

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

 

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In this podcast episode, I delved into the complex journey of healing from a trauma-bonded relationship. Many people try to establish a fixed timeline for recovery, often based on arbitrary equations or social media advice. However, I emphasized that the healing process is highly individualized and depends on one's commitment to the process.

Trauma bonds are insidious and can make it challenging to break free. Individuals may say they want to heal and move on, but their behaviors may contradict their intentions. This paradox arises because trauma bonds are deeply rooted, leading people to believe that their abusive partner is the only one who can make them happy or validate their worth.

The addiction to a trauma-bonded relationship stems from intermittent reinforcement, where occasional positive moments keep individuals hooked despite a largely toxic environment. This intermittent reward system releases hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, creating a cycle of stress and love that reinforces the bond.

Physiological addiction further complicates the healing process, as the body becomes accustomed to associating love with stress. This makes it difficult for individuals to recognize health

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

 Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

 

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Why you can't love yourself after a trauma bond?

Don't get me wrong, I think self-love is crucial.

But I get irritated with social media quick quotes or whatever saying "just love yourself". Here's my issue - it's not as easy if you've been trauma bonded. If anything it feels near impossible and it is super deflating for people hearing this message, trying to self love, but not having it in them.

There are 4 main issues that are intertwined as to why it's hard to self-love following a trauma bond:

1. Deep rooted attachment issues. People who are attracted into trauma bonds tend to have anxious or avoidant attachment styles which involve: I can only be loved if I please the other person. Therefore my ability to be loveable is reliant on external validation, and "being good enough"

2. Identity. Through a trauma bond you lose your identity due to being gaslit and you resign having control. You were love bombed at the start when there were the "good" parts of you on show, and so you work hard to "create the perfect / good enough identity" to be loved. But this also means you move further away from your true self.

3. Subconscious template. Subconsciously we create a

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

 

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In this podcast episode, I talk about the differences between being in love and being in a trauma-bonded relationship. I highlight five key factors to help you distinguish between the two:

1. Extreme Highs and Lows: In a trauma-bonded relationship, there are massive highs followed by sudden plummeting lows. These extreme fluctuations indicate a trauma bond. Healthy love, on the other hand, involves a narrower range of emotions and a more balanced middle ground.
2. Mature vs. Immature Love: Immature love focuses on needing the other person for validation and completeness, while mature love centers around genuinely wanting the person because of who they are. The former leads to a trauma bond, whereas the latter signifies genuine love.
3. Attachment vs. Connection: Attachment entails integrating the partner into one's own identity, causing constant anxiety and fear of abandonment. Connection involves acknowledging the partner's qualities and choosing to connect without a fear-driven attachment.
4. Acceptance of Flaws: In a trauma-bonded relationship, flaws are hidden or ignored to preserve the relationship's potential. True love acknowledges flaws and acce

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

In this podcast episode, we delve into the intriguing question: Do narcissists truly experience trauma bonds? Let's explore the intricate dynamics of trauma-bonded relationships, where you, as the vulnerable party, become entangled with a narcissistic abuser. Your deep desire to salvage the relationship, to avoid abandonment, leads to perpetual anxiety.

Conversely, the narcissist employs a façade of grandiosity to shield their fragile self-esteem. Their quest for validation and adulation compels them to overstate their brilliance, attempting to prove their own worthiness. During the initial stages, you're showered with affection in a process known as "love bombing," aimed at capturing your devotion. Subsequently, a push-pull pattern emerges, preventing true emotional intimacy.

Consider this: While both you and the narcissist grapple with self-doubt, their motivation to perpetuate the cycle lies in validating their own identity. As you work tirelessly to please, striving to feel adequate, the narcissist manipulates the relationship to quell their inner insecurities.

This episode emphasizes the detrimental nature of such connections, urging introspection into your self-perception and the impact of the relationship. As you ponder these patterns, the recognition of this toxic cycle can propel you towards healing and empowerment. By understanding the dynamics at play, you can liberate yourself from the clutches of a trauma-bonded relationship and embark on a journey of self-discovery.

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

This podcast episode, I talk about the most dangerous person you can fall in love with and be in a relationship with. Chances are if you've been in a relationship with such an individual, you may have experienced a trauma bond (whether or not you know it).

 This involves the concept of the "dark triad" personality traits. The dark triad comprises narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Narcissism involves a self-inflated sense of superiority and vulnerability beneath the surface. Machiavellianism revolves around manipulation using empathy to their advantage. Psychopathy entails a lack of emotional empathy, often masked by cognitive empathy. 

In such relationships, you are initially love-bombed, receiving excessive attention and affection. However, as the dark triad traits manifest, the abuser becomes avoidant, confrontational, or critical, leaving you confused and anxious. You might then internalize blame, hoping to regain the initial love-bombing phase. 

The dark triad creates a cycle of highs and lows, eroding your self-worth. Leaving becomes difficult due to the manipulation and emotional turmoil. Healing involves understanding your own vulnerabilities and trauma, which empowers you to identify toxic patterns and make healthier relationship choices.

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

In this podcast episode, I delve into the intricate process of healing from the enduring pain inflicted by trauma-bonded relationships. The discussion revolves around the lingering emotional turmoil and deep-seated negative beliefs that often persist long after such relationships end. The episode underscores the profound impact of these beliefs on your sense of self-worth and identity.

I emphasize the significance of self-compassion in navigating this journey of healing. I shed light on the subconscious nature of these beliefs, which tend to take root due to their repeated reinforcement. The episode offers a transformative approach to healing, focusing on self-awareness and introspection.

You are encouraged to engage in self-reflection by asking pivotal questions: How do you truly feel about yourself? How has the trauma-bonded relationship shaped your self-perception? The episode guides you in recognizing the origins of your emotional pain and negative self-talk, thereby enabling a profound shift in perspective.

A fundamental step towards healing involves expressing pent-up emotions without judgment, allowing the vulnerable aspects of yourself to come forth. I propose crafting self-affirming mantras that counteract the damaging narratives, promoting healing and self-acceptance. The podcast accentuates the paramount importance of fostering a healthy relationship with yourself, comparing it to the upkeep of a physical living space

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

On the contrary to what people believe, you do not stay in a trauma bonded relationship because you're "stupid" or "don't deserve better". You stay because your subconscious mind is activated and creates all of the reasons why you should stay. Here are 3 big reasons that your mind is telling you why it is better for you to stay, than to leave.

Firstly, people stay in these relationships because of a misguided sense of safety. Although the relationship itself feels threatening and anxiety-inducing, cognitive dissonance kicks in, making you believe it's safer to stay than face the unknown aftermath of leaving. Additionally, physiological responses to chronic stress leads to a reliance on the familiarity of the relationship, misinterpreting it as safety.

Secondly, codependency plays a significant role. Subconsciously, we are attracted to people who validate beliefs we hold about ourselves = e.g. if we believe we are not good enough, we end up being attracted to others who mirror this to us. This unhealthy dependency reinforces the toxic cycle, leaving them unable to break free.

Lastly, staying in such relationships is driven by the fear of loss and grief. The longer you invest in the relationship, the harder it becomes to detach, as you have given so much of yourself, hoping for validation and affection in return. Leaving would mean acknowledging the immense loss and accepting the hollow version of yourself created during the relationship.

By becoming aware of these patterns and the impact, you can make empowered choices for your wellbeing. Step out of the relationship, gain awareness, and re-evaluating what truly serves your inner being. Breaking free from the trauma-bonded cycle opens the door to a healthier, fulfilling life.

Support the show

Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.

Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.

Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.

Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.

www.relationshipsuccesslab.com

Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat


Contact: [email protected]

LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies

Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy

Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts