Dear Dr. Tracy
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Dear Dr. Tracy episodes

  • Do this One Thing in Your Relationship: The Weekly Meeting

    One of the most common complaints I receive is, "We never talk about the hard stuff."

    What's the barrier to turning towards each other and talking?

    For many, it's time.

    For others, it's not wanting to upset the other person.

    Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me on the podcast for this episode. Dr. Morgan is a relationship expert and owner of My Love Thinks. If you are struggling with the mental load, be sure to check out Season 2 Episode 6 and Dr. Morgan's great Instagram space @MyLoveThinks. Dr. Morgan and I also have a boundary webinar that we created together. 

    In this episode, Dr. Morgan and I break apart all the details around the Weekly Check-In Meeting - a key strategy we encourage all of our clients to use. We talk about:

    • The common objections to the weekly meeting
    • How attachment styles may play a role in approaching our partners and how the weekly meeting can help you navigate this
    • How we can tackle these barriers
    • Why this meeting matters
    • Our top question to put in this meeting
    • And our confession - do we use this tool in our relationships?
    • I want to hear from you. What ONE question would you want to ask each other this week?

      Join me in my community!

      • Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
      • Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
      • Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
      • Visit my website for more
      • Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

        47 min
      • They Didn't Respect My Boundaries: Preparing for The Holidays

        We're getting ready for another holiday season. With Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Eastern Orthodox Easter, and Ramadan coming up, it seemed like a great time to ask you, my community, some important questions about family get togethers and talk about how you want to show up.

        When it comes to family gatherings, 46% of you feel "okay negative" about them.

        In this episode, we talk about:

        • What you can and cannot control when it comes to our family, including acknowledging a key emotion that shows up here
        • Shifting towards consciously choosing so that you can show up aligned
        • Being a united front with your partner
        • Join me in my community!

          • Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
          • Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
          • Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
          • Visit my website for more

          • Many said you have negative feelings about things you cannot control (86%). That's a lot!

            One of the things we must recognize is that family gatherings bring out things that we have no control over, including:

            • Other's views of you
            • Toxic behaviours and comments
            • When others push your boundaries
            • ... and more.

              Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

              25 min
            • "The parent-child relationship is the hardest of our life." - Dr. Shefali

              For the parents who just want their child to be happy.

              When I told my daughter that I just needed five minutes before I could rub her back at bedtime, she screamed at me. And what I did next was not my best moment. I could feel it coming over me. I screamed back at her. I know so many parents get to this point - the exhaustion and overwhelm. The Demands. Being pulled in so many directions.

              We raise our voice. We show up not aligned with how we want to. We maybe even slip into shame.

              It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. It was my luck that I was sitting with Dr. Shefali the next day for the podcast. Dr. Shefali is an acclaimed author, international speaker, and clinical psychologist. 

              In this episode, we talk about:

              • Navigating one of the hardest relationships in our life - with our children
              • When our expectations are not met and setting our own boundaries
              • Building compassion with ourselves as parents
              • How do we approach the meltdowns
              • How do I get my partner to do this work too
              • To learn more about Dr. Shefali:

                • Visit her website
                • Check out her coaching program
                • Follow her on instagram
                • Join me in my community!

                  • Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
                  • Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
                  • Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
                  • Visit my website for more
                  • What’s Coming Next?

                    I'm answering your questions in preparation for another holiday. How can we navigate difficult situations with our in-laws and family? 

                    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                    56 min
                  • When Your Partner Makes it All About Them

                    In this week's podcast, I answer your question.

                    Q. Dear Dr. Tracy. Every time I try to share something with my partner, he goes and makes it about himself. Recently, I was trying to share about an issue with my sister. He got so heated and upset - we've had frequent conflict about my sister - that I ended up stop asking for the support that I needed. I'm not sure what to do in these moments, but I do know that resentment is building up and it doesn't feel good. - Nicole 

                    In this episode, we discuss:

                    • Different ways to approach a conversation
                    • Recognizing why your partner might do this
                    • How to respond at two different times
                    • Looking for more:

                      • Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take the free quiz
                      • Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
                      • Join me in my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
                      • Visit my website for more
                      • What’s Coming Next?

                        I sit down with Dr. Shefali and dive into the world of conscious parenting. 

                        Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                        18 min
                      • Sleeping in Separate Beds with MomRoom's Renee Reina

                        Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleep in separate beds?1

                        Despite this common experience, many people continue to feel a lot of stigma around speaking out about their need for a restful night's sleep - which may mean sleeping in a different room from your lover.

                        People tend to learn that there must be something wrong with a relationship if a couple is sleeping in separate beds.

                        There is a term for sleeping in separate beds that contributes to this learned stigma: "Sleep divorce." This term implies that sleeping apart is a sign of a relationship lacking in love and sex.

                        But what if you continue to sleep in the same bed with restless night's sleep? Does your relationship improve or deteriorate? Are you more snappy and short with your partner the next day because their snoring kept you awake? Or maybe you feel a missing desire for your partner because you're the one waking with the baby all the time.

                        I invited Renee Reina, Ph.D. in Psychology and host of the top-ranking parenting podcast "The Mom Room" to break through the stigma and talk about prioritizing sleep and continuing to nurture our relationships.

                        In this episode, we discuss:

                        • Renee's community's surprising response to her disclosure of sleeping in separate rooms
                        • Early messaging around parents not sharing beds
                        • The relationship progression she experienced in terms of bed sharing and sleeping with her partner
                        • When sleeping in separate beds works - and when it doesn't
                        • Prioritizing and making choices to nurture her relationship
                        • Links:

                          • Listen to Renee's progression of their relationship and sleep, tune into Episode 44
                          • Tune into our episode together on Mom Room about resentment and relationships 
                          • Join me in my online community, Be Connected, to learn how to improve your communication and connection.
                          • Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                            46 min
                          • Burn Your Guilt and Other Toxic Messages with NYT Bestselling author Eve Rodsky

                            Our collective experiences recently have been beyond challenging. The frequent suggestions of "go for a walk" are often not enough anymore.

                            Enter Eve Rodsky, an expert in family mediation and organizational management, and author of New York Time's bestselling book Fair Play and Finding Your Unicorn Space. Her message to us is to burn our guilt and get rid of other toxic messages that stop us from doing the very thing we need to find ourselves - and that is to find our Unicorn Space.

                            Eve and I talk about finding your creative space to ensure a life lived aligned with your values.

                            In this episode, we discuss:

                            • Why women are so burnt out
                            • What is the Unicorn Space and why it's so important
                            • 3 permissions you need to give yourself (Hint: something you need to do with your guilt!)
                            • Taking responsibility and choosing discomfort over comfort
                            • To Learn With Eve:

                              • Visit her website
                              • Follow her on instagram
                              • Check out her newest book
                              • Join Me in My Community:

                                • Curious about the relationship cycle you get stuck in? Take my free quiz
                                • Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
                                • Join my monthly newsletter where I give you actionable tips that you can use today in your relationship
                                • Visit my website for more!

                                  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                                  46 min
                                • I Answer Your Questions - Season Finale

                                  This episode is quite a bit different than every other episode this season. I asked the community, via Instagram, to submit questions and I picked some to answer similar to a Dear Abby column.

                                  As we close out Season 2 I want to thank this beautiful community - especially since we've hit the 100K download milestone! We truly would not be here without each of you listening and sharing it with those you love.

                                  One of the most powerful things I have learned is what it means to rest. Just like flowers aren't always in bloom, we all have seasons and require periods of rest so we can bloom again. As this season comes to a close I will be taking time this summer to focus on rest.

                                  Stay tuned for season 3 Fall 2021! Be sure to hit subscribe so you will be the first to know when the new season drops.

                                  In this episode, I answer your questions!

                                  Now it’s your turn! Join me over on Instagram, or leave me a note here about what you would like to see on the podcast.

                                  What’s Coming Next?

                                  Stay tune for Season 3 in Fall 2021!

                                  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                                  54 min
                                • Relationships: Attachment Styles and Finding Growth Edges

                                  What happens when you sit two relationship experts down for a chat?

                                  This episode is just that - two relationship experts, one conversation.

                                  Everyone has their own attachment style, it's the way we build and respond to relationships. When we understand our attachment styles we can better help our relationship maintain healthy boundaries.

                                  Speaking of boundaries, have you ever sat down with your partner to discuss your boundaries within the relationship?

                                  In this episode I sit down with Dr. Morgan Anderson to discuss attachment styles and growth edges within relationships.

                                  Dr. Morgan Anderson is a clinical psychologist and relationship coach, host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast and creator of the E.S.L relationship method. She helps women break the toxic dating cycle, raise their self-worth and attract the healthy relationship they’ve always wanted. She’s on Instagram @drmorgancoaching - make sure you head over to her page and send her a DM to say hello

                                  In this episode, we discuss the following:

                                  • Communicating in relationships and finding your boundaries
                                  • Using your attachment style to tune into how you show up in your relationship
                                  • Finding your growth areas for each attachment style
                                  • What security can look like in a relationship
                                  • What’s Coming Next?

                                    My next episode is the season finale where I answer your questions!

                                    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                                    56 min
                                  • Motherhood: Putting Yourself First

                                    Have you ever reached a point, through your motherhood journey, where you felt like something needed to change in order for you to be happy?

                                    Perhaps you felt as though your needs were somehow lost in the mix while you were putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Who looks out for mom when she's taking care of everyone else?

                                    But what if I told you the change you need in order to reach happiness comes from within?

                                    This episode's guest is on a mission to encourage women, especially mothers, to prioritize themselves and choose to set time aside to do what makes them happy, outside of motherhood.

                                    In this episode I sit down with Katie to discuss her journey through motherhood including learning to love her body and putting herself first.

                                    Katie is a working Mom of three, a self-love advocate, a true believer in the mental and physical benefits of exercise, and she's on a personal mission to encourage women (especially Moms!) to put themselves on the top of their priority lists.

                                    During her second postpartum season, Katie - craving connection, and determined to develop self love and confidence - began sharing her life publicly on Instagram. What began as an accountability page for her postpartum fitness journey, grew into an authentic, vulnerable, and relatable journal of self acceptance, body respect, and the highs and lows of motherhood.

                                    In this episode, we discuss the following:

                                    • Learning to care for ourselves as mothers
                                    • Katie's a-ha moment of realizing she had to prioritize herself, as no one else could do this for her
                                    • Shifting out of goal focused body confidence to body positivity
                                    • Waiting for motivation or time to show up (when it never really does)
                                    • Showing up authentically with others
                                    • Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                                      53 min
                                    • Mental Load: The Unpaid, Invisible Work of Motherhood

                                      Why is it that we treat men's time as if it is as "precious as diamonds" and women's time as if it is as "infinite as sand?" (As this week's podcast guest stated it).

                                      Chances are you never sat down with your partner, before moving in together, getting married, or having children, to discuss who does what. Who takes the trash out? Who buys the mustard? Who care for the children when they are home sick from school? Who coordinates their activities and schoolwork? If needed, who leaves their job to become a full-time parent?

                                      But how have mothers become the default?

                                      In this episode I sit down with Eve Rodsky to discuss mental load and her book FAIR PLAY. In her New York Times bestselling book FAIR PLAY, she uses her Harvard Law School training and years of organizational management experience to create a life-management system to help couples both rebalance all of the work it takes to run a home and reimagine their relationship, time and purpose.

                                      Eve Rodsky received her B.A. in economics and anthropology from the University of Michigan, and her J.D. from Harvard Law School. After working in foundation management at J.P. Morgan, she founded the Philanthropy Advisory Group to advise high-net worth families and charitable foundations on best practices for harmonious operations, governance and disposition of funds. In her work with hundreds of families over a decade, she realized that her expertise in family mediation, strategy, and organizational management could be applied to a problem closer to home – a system for couples seeking balance, efficiency, and peace in their home. Rodsky was born and raised by a single mom in New York City and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their three children.  

                                      In this episode, we discuss the following:

                                      • The smoothie requirements for Eve’s partner that led to building the Fair Play system and impacting change for women and couples
                                      • Losing our identities and the importance of the unicorn space
                                      • When resentment shows up in our relationships
                                      • The Fair Play system and breaking down the CPE (Conceptualization, Planning, and Execution)
                                      • Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

                                        1 hr 10 min

                                      About Dear Dr. Tracy

                                      From the publisher's feed

                                      Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by…

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