UNDERSTANDABLE

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Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to tell if someone has narcissim or an avoidant attachment style.

► Links and Resources:

Can Patients With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Change? Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38949659/

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Progress in Understanding and Treatment: https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.focus.20220052

Earned Secure Attachment Paper: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00332941241277495

Prevalence of Narcissism Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20579503/

The first 10,000 Adult Attachment Interviews Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19455453/

Deactivation Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=MsjjB-DCVic0sUPY

8 Phases How I Healed Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SrSolyrSCQ

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Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:49 How Many People are Avoidant vs. Narcissistic?

03:41 Narcissism vs. Avoidant Attachment Behaviors

21:43 The Overlap: Similarities

26:18 Can They Change and become available for Relationships?

29:30 How To Change: What Actually Matters

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! The most personaly yet. I describe my last break up phase and the day I decided to change.

► Links and Resources:

Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=4qCYZ7saWj3pPgu7

Missing Puzzle Piece Video: https://youtu.be/7kGDhim-YlY?si=OWT50rFjoO2gB1_8

Why Avoidants Have no Clue What They Need & Feel Video: https://youtu.be/YoerBrHSdUI?si=6nUYCvwwIDiyqjhV

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Before I Decided To Change

07:10 The Moment I Decided To Change

18:16 Did I Come Back to My Ex?

19:30 The Honest Reason Avoidants Pull Away

26:00 What an Avoidant Needs to Change

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Many of you asked for the rebound phase. Here it is: The Avoidant's Rebound relationship doom cycle.

► Links and Resources:

Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 What About The Rebound Phase?

01:38 Stage 0: Before Breakup

09:52 Stage 1: Preparing the Springboard

13:24 Stage 2: Breakup

17:12 Stage 3: Honeymoon Period

18:51 Stage 4: Trigger Phase

20:32 Stage 5: De-Fantasizing

22:28 The Final Act

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: ⁠https://understandable.net⁠ (ad)

Welcome to today's episode!

► Links and Resources:

The 4 Attachment Styles Video:

https://youtu.be/1S-YK065XLA?si=geD4YVZE7wA7LJDz

Stonewalling Video:

https://youtu.be/v4KaUMysJ2g?si=jPRsBcKc6Bluf9NN

Deactivating Strategies Video:

https://youtu.be/plHD7OMc-cc Di

Definition Dismissive Avoidant: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-dismissive-avoidant-attachment-5218213

Definition Fearful Avoidant: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-fearful-avoidant-attachment-5207986

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music:

⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:00 The 4 Attachment Styles

03:02 What Is A Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style?

03:56 What Is A Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?

04:18 Differences

05:52 Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

23:12 Fearful Avoidant Attachment

31:03 Similarities

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain the 4 things avoidants do if they don't ever come back.

► Links and Resources:

Deactivation Strategies Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

01:44 Ghosting

08:00 Communicating Break up

13:10 Slowly Fading Out

15:40 History Rewriting

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I explain the #1 reason why avoidants return after rejecting someone.

► Links and Resources:

When They Realize They Lost You Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4HePymTMI&t=207s

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Why Avoidants Return

03:20 2 Minor Reasons for Returning

08:10 Avoidant's Ambivalence: Connection or Pulling Away?

12:10 The Rebound Phase

15:50 No 1 Reason They Return after Rejecting You (The Missing Puzzle Piece)

22:20 Building Interdependence

25:30 Breaking the Anxious-Avoidant Doom Cycle

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I break down the neuroscience behind avoidant attachment patterns.

► Links and Resources:

Paper Neuroscience of human social interactions and adult attachment style: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/human-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2012.00212/full

Paper Individual Attachment Style Modulates Human Amygdala and Striatum Activation during Social Appraisal: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002868

Paper The neural substrates of social emotion perception and regulation are modulated by adult attachment style: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22217336/

Deactivation Strategies Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=jcZEkDLsrvBeif8h

How I Finally Healed my Avoidant Attachment Video:

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

00:43 In Childhood, Developing Brain Learns Painful Lesson

01:30 The Amygdala

06:20 The Prefrontal Cortex

08:49 The Cortisol System

09:30 The Striatum

11:15 The Deeper Limbic System

12:20 Adulthood

13:34 Deactivation Strategies

16:00 How To Overcome Avoidant Attachment Patterns

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I describe how the moment feels when an avoidant realizes they lost their partner.

► Links and Resources:

The Neuroscience Behind Avoidant Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/pv5K9dbfp84

8 Phases of How I Healed my Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SrSolyrSCQ

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:10 The Dating Phase

02:26 The Deactivation Switch

06:30 The Breakup Moment

08:50 The Exact Moment of Realization

12:18 Emotional Cycle Visualization

18:00 Three Avoidant Motivations

22:00 Moving Toward Security

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I talk in detail about the 8 phases I went through to heal my avoidant attachment patterns.

► Links and Resources:

Hypervigilance Video: https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=9Ozu57DhbewJs8Ir

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Overview

02:40 Phase 1

05:47 Phase 2

08:00 Phase 3

11:13 Phase 4

14:45 Phase 5

18:05 Phase 6

20:58 Phase 7

23:03 Phase 8

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (Ad)

Welcome to today's episode!

► Links and Resources:

Sex, Porn, Affairs Escape Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLyK-Yi1QpE&t=28s&pp=0gcJCQQLAYcqIYzv

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro02:22 When Does The Pull Back Response Show Up?07:45 How Does The Avoidant Attachment Threat-Detection System Work?11:36 De-Activation Strategies That Sabotage Your Love Life21:22 How To Work Through The Deactivation Pattern

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.