In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we dig into the messy gap between theory and practice. Why you can ace attachment charts in solitude but fall apart the second someone doesn’t text back. Why embarrassment isn’t failure but data. Why relationships act as mirrors that magnify both your shadow and your light. And why courage isn’t magic—it’s logistics. Through stories, psychology, and neuroscience, we unpack how to practice becoming in real time.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why theory feels safe but collapses in practice (prediction error & the nervous system)

• The ghosting spiral: why rejection feels like physical pain in the body

• Embarrassment as data (Pratfall Effect and social learning)

• How attachment styles show up clumsy in real life

• Relationships as mirrors: projection, transference, and magnification of shadow/light

• Corrective emotional experiences: tiny rewiring moments that stick

• Micro-bravery and scaffolding: what courage actually looks like

• The neuroscience of courage: amygdala vs. prefrontal cortex, dopamine, polyvagal grounding

• Why courage is built in reps, not in grand gestures

• Personal stories of shaky hands, awkward texts, and becoming real in connection

Reflection Question of the Week: What’s one piece of theory you’ve mastered in solitude — and what’s one small, imperfect way you could practice it in real time this week?

Resources Mentioned:

• Prediction error (cognitive neuroscience of expectation)

• The Pratfall Effect (social psychology of likability)

• Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges; vagus nerve & social engagement)

• Interpersonal neurobiology (mirror neurons & co-regulation)

• Corrective emotional experiences (psychodynamic theory)

• Exposure therapy principles (small, repeated acts build tolerance)

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