In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we name and honor the “safe house” of solitude—why it feels protective after heartbreak and why it can quietly become a ceiling. Sparked by an Instagram quote from Afsa Rosette about theory vs. practice, we unpack the psychology behind avoidance, shame, and nervous-system safety, and we begin moving from thinking about connection to practicing it—one inch at a time.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why solitude feels like medicine (and when it turns into a cage)

• The Instagram quote that inspired this series: theory vs. practice in love

• Avoidance learning: how “canceling” teaches the brain to avoid again

• Prediction error & the brain’s craving for certainty (why dating feels costly)

• Shame sensitivity: how isolation shields us from feedback—but blocks intimacy

• Social baseline theory: why life feels lighter with safe others

• Window of tolerance: stretching without overwhelming your system

• Negativity bias & rewriting the story your brain keeps replaying

• Approach–avoidance conflict: wanting love and fearing it at the same time

• Practical “open the door one inch” ideas: tiny exposures that build capacity

• Guided visualization + journaling moments sprinkled throughout

Reflection Question of the Week:

What has your safe house given you, what has it cost you, and what would opening the door one inch look like this week?

Resources Mentioned:

• Afsa Rosette’s quote on theory vs. practice (Instagram)

• Avoidance learning & exposure principles (behavioral psychology)

• Social baseline theory (co-regulation and reduced perceived effort)

• Window of tolerance (Siegel; arousal & capacity)

• Negativity bias (evolutionary psychology; why pain sticks)

• Approach–avoidance conflict (motivational psychology)

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