In this episode of The Wrong Ones, I pressed pause on the plan and gave myself space to vent about the absurdity of modern dating. After two back-to-back ghostings in the same week—one from an East Coast visitor who likely mass-texted the entire Bay Area, and another from a “let’s grab dinner” guy who never followed through—I realized how these little moments can still sting even when you think you’re “healed.” We unpack why ghosting hurts so much, the old patterns it triggers, and how to reframe rejection without spiraling, all while laughing at the comedy of it.

In this episode, we cover:

• Two ghosting stories that prove dating is both comedy and tragedy

• Predictive coding: why our brains “expect” rejection once we’ve felt it

• Intermittent reinforcement: the slot-machine psychology behind mixed signals

• Why ghosting feels like physical pain in the body

• Venting about dating as an Olympic sport (gold medal in not double-texting)

• The pause vs. the spiral: choosing new patterns in real time

• My new plan to treat dating like a part-time job (weekly “shifts” in San Francisco)

• The city’s resurgence and what it feels like to finally notice attraction again

• Reframing ghosting as a reflection of them, not me

• The bigger truth: healing doesn’t erase triggers, it teaches us to respond differently

Reflection Question of the Week:

When life pressed on an old bruise and reminded you you’re still human, did you spiral into old patterns—or pause and choose something new?

Resources Mentioned:

• Predictive coding (cognitive neuroscience of expectation)

• Intermittent reinforcement (behavioral psychology; why inconsistency hooks us)

• The neuroscience of rejection (emotional pain and physical pain overlap)

• Exposure therapy principles (repeated safe exposure builds capacity)

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